To Sleep or Not to Sleep

It's 9.45 pm and I'm knackered. I've only been up about 13 1/2 hours, so I must be short on sleep if I'm this tired already. Trouble is, getting up before noon at the earliest is not good for my system and my body can't handle it. I'm not sure, but I think most hermits are night owls and it just isn't right that we're forced by society to get up at ungodly hours when the sun is shining and stuff. Not right at all.

Of course, for a hermit I've had a busy day in that I had to do something that really does give my system a shock ... yes, I had to GO OUT. Typically, for the first time in ages, it was raining at the time I had to go and, typically, I couldn't find my umbrella. On the homeward journey, it was raining so much that I had raindrops dripping from weird places like my nose (better than other things that could have been dripping from it, I guess) and by the time I got home I was absolutely soaked. I had intended taking the kids to McDonald's afterwards, but that had to go by the board. Pity, 'cos I fancied a Big Mac.

As to where I went, it was nothing exciting, just to my son's school to listen to his teacher prattling on about how he's doing. Not worth repeating - he's excellent at maths and arts & crafts, very good at English, but crap at working as part of a group and hopeless at remembering his games kit . He's also very polite, very helpful and an all-round nice boy.

Anyway, as I'm knackered and haven't anything better to do, I am probably going to get a ridiculously early night. It may be a normal bedtime for most other people, but for me it's totally unacceptable and makes me think I'm at death's door or something. Chances are I won't go to bed for another 2 or 3 hours anyway, I never do when I say I'm going to. I'll get up and make another coffee and decide I'm good for another few hours yet, especially as in 10 minutes there will be something better I can do.

And I'm being told-off for singing again ... don't know why I bother existing at all, to be honest. Old, knackered and tuneless with a dripping nose. Not much hope for me really, is there.

Google Mood Ring (Dark Blue): Impassioned, delighted, whiff of romance.

Visitors Should Be Gassed

Being a hermit, I hate visitors. Sometimes I have to force myself to put up with them, but if there's one thing I can't stand it's when they arrive early. It's bad enough for me trying to be ready on time, but being ready early is basically impossible.

Today I arranged for my gas appliances to be serviced between 2-4 pm. This means that I expected the visit to take place somewhere between 2-4 pm. To me, this was logical and made perfect sense. Unfortunately, the men servicing my gas appliances were not as logical and therefore arrived at 1 pm, which meant I was not in the least bit ready and not in the least bit pleased. What if I'd been out and hadn't returned until 1.59 pm? What if I'd been 'indisposed'?

Being late is the way to go. Visitors who arrive late are courteous, polite and considerate. At least they are if they are visiting hermits. Having said that, the most courteous, polite and considerate people are those who never visit at all.

Moaning Musical Mothers

My teenage daughter told me off today. OK, so it's nothing new (I'm a lousy mother), but I do feel that she was out of order on this occasion. It's not as if I was doing anything wrong, I was only SINGING. I suppose the fact that I was wearing headphones (I'd been told to do that because I was disturbing her tv viewing) meant I was singing rather loudly (like you do when you're wearing headphones), but it's not as if I can't sing (well OK, I've had better singing days, but I'm still in tune). The thing is, since I've discovered Last.fm, I've been able to listen to all sorts of stuff I haven't heard in years, plus lots of new stuff, and I just have to sing to it if I'm in a singing mood. And today I just happened to be in a singing mood.

Anyway, I had a sort of indie morning, then I switched to the old sixties flower power stuff, which I just can't resist warbling to. It takes me back to when I was young and free and hopeful and totally unaware of the existence of "good old days". Anyway, there I was, warbling away at the top of my voice to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and I got told off. I am now about to start warbling at the top of my voice to Itchycoo Park (for the second time) and no doubt I will get told off again, because I also sing this one very loudly (well, you have to, haven't you. Poor Stevie's been dead for almost 16 years, he wouldn't hear me if I didn't ... my god, has it been that long?). Anyway, let's face it, lyrics these days just can't compare to blowing your mind by getting hung-up feeding ducks with a bun.

My eldest son was here this morning and he sort of told me off as well, although not for singing. He said it didn't seem at all right that his mother should enjoy the same sort of bands he did and as a result he was seriously considering changing his musical tastes totally. I reminded him that he was the one who was heavily into the Doors, which were actually from my era not his, but he excused that by pointing out that the Doors were timeless and therefore didn't count.

One thing I've noticed is that some people on Last.fm have no idea how to tag music. As an example, I am more than happy to listen to Ace of Base because I like them (I am warbling away to them now as it happens), but they are NOT from the flower-power era, not unless it lasted into the 90's, which it didn't. And has anyone else noticed that the intro to "Always Have, Always Will" is almost identical to the intro to "I Can't Help Myself" by the Four Tops? Well, it is. Listen to them both and you'll see what I mean. Talking of "I Can't Help Myself" (sugar-pies, honey-bunches), I still remember the dance to that ... and the dance to "Band of Gold" ... and the dance to "Get it On" ... hell, I'm old. I need another visit from Christine to make me feel better. Then again, having seen her latest photos, maybe I don't.

Up Your American Vagina!

Well, my Amazon stuff did arrive yesterday (today when I was writing, Friday that is) and I had quite a good time getting to know my Faerie Oracle. Not too enamoured with the Angel Numbers book though, it's a bit too god-biased to me, but I suppose I should have thought of that.

OK, going to pick on the Yanks again (I do that periodically, although not as often as I want to, believe me). Check this out: Girls Suspended Over V-Word. This totally baffles me, along the lines of "It's perfectly OK for you to carry a gun and shoot who the f**k you like, but OMG don't mention the correct anatomical name for the part of a woman's body that plays an important role in the procreation of the human race". (As an aside, I wasn't even allowed to use the word "cock" on an American writing forum today - just as well I'm not a farmer). WAKE UP, AMERICA!!!

OK, the girls did disobey orders, but it's obvious that wasn't the real reason they were suspended. They were suspended because of an outmoded, old-fashioned, puritan attitude that, as the author of the play herself said, is "a throwback to the Dark Ages". It was far more acceptable to kill people then, too. I accept that I live in a country that doesn't see guns as a fashion accessory, but who in their right mind would want to? Children here are taught correct anatomical terms when their ages are still in single figures; they are not taught how to load a gun.

Sorry, and my apologies to those Americans who don't subscribe to the bang-bang philosophy (I know there are many of you, quite a few of whom I know personally ... I shall certainly be speaking to my friend in Brooklyn about this, I thought NY was a little more modern-minded than the majority of the US), but to those of you who do - VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA ... and for good measure: PENIS, PENIS, PENIS. Now, shoot me (already).

Tomorrow is Today and Today is Yesterday

Yesterday was my eldest daughter's birthday, although it's still today to me as I haven't been to bed yet. Will be going very soon though, as I'm knackered and falling asleep.

Hopefully my Amazon items will arrive tomorrow (today), although knowing my luck they'll arrive on Saturday (tomorrow). I actually did better out of the deal than I should have (see previous post) as when I checked my inbox earlier today (yesterday), I discovered that Amazon had actually sent me an email on Monday telling me that they couldn't process my card. If I'd noticed that and corrected the details, I would have probably had the order yesterday (the day before yesterday).

As to what I've ordered, well it's a set of Faerie Oracle cards and an Angel Numbers book. Look, I'm into that sort of thing, don't knock it. I've also ordered some new tarot cards from eBay because my current ones don't seem to be working too well these days. They probably needs a good spiritual cleansing, but I don't go in for that sort of thing, I'm too lazy. It's easier to just buy a new deck. While I was at it, I ordered a pentagram pendant from the same supplier (although I hesitated, because she described it as a "pendent"). I thought I might wear it when I go to the local shops so everyone thinks I'm a witch and keeps their distance. A hermit can never have too many "keep your distance" objects about their person.

Oh, and for anyone who is confused, my daughter's birthday was on Thursday, 8th of March.

Up Your Irish Amazon

Sometimes it helps to be a stroppy cow. Last Friday I ordered a couple of items from Amazon UK. I only really wanted one of them, but the second cost less than the first-class postage on the first, so I got the second item without paying any extra as the order then qualified for free delivery.

The items were supposed to arrive anytime between yesterday and tomorrow, but when I checked yesterday they hadn't been despatched, nor had they been despatched when I checked today. There was absolutely nothing on the page to explain the delay, so I rang Amazon. It turned out that they were using the wrong card details, even though I'd entered in the correct ones. It appeared that my old Switch card was on file and they'd used that, instead of the new Visa card I'd entered when I placed the order. The old Switch card wouldn't have worked because (a) it had been replaced some time ago by the Visa and (b) it had expired some time ago. Why they used these card details when I entered totally different ones is beyond me. Even more puzzling is why I was told that the card had been accepted and the payment verified.

I politely (at first) explained to the Irish lady on the other end of the phone that there should have been some sort of warning on the page, telling me that I needed to amend some details, but she told me that this wasn't their policy, they simply continued to try the card and after a while, cancelled the order. I told her that in my opinion this was rather silly (not to mention bad for sales, although I didn't mention that bit) and she agreed with me (humoured me).

After my card details were corrected, I was told that the order would be despatched tomorrow and would arrive next week, which caused me to have a mini-fit. "Next week?" I mini-fitted. "It was supposed to be here tomorrow at the latest!" I then suggested they sent the order first-class and it was amended, except I was going to be charged more than 20% more for the privilege. At this point I had another mini-fit and muttered something along the lines of "In the interest of good customer relations, you should send it first-class and let me off the cost". Receiving no response to this, I asked for the order to be changed back to free delivery, and the Irish lady said this had been done. Refreshing the order page on the website confirmed this.

After sighing a lot and loudly muttering (yes, it is possible to mutter loudly, I've perfected it) that I would be thinking twice before using Amazon again, I terminated the phone call. On checking the order status a few minutes later, I discovered that my items were being despatched tomorrow by first-class, were estimated to arrive one or two days later (i.e., Friday or Saturday) and I had been refunded for the cost of the first-class postage.

So ... if you want first-class delivery from Amazon but don't want to pay for it, you know what to do.