The Last McDonald's American Holiday

It's been the Easter holidays for the past two weeks and I took my son to the cinema a couple of times. Last week we saw The Last Mimzy and yesterday we went to see Mr Bean's Holiday. My son wanted to see Mr Bean last week, but I persuaded him against it as I didn't really fancy it much. However, I have to say that I did enjoy it when we watched it yesterday. The Last Mimzy was good, but nothing extraordinary. It started off reminding me of Gremlins, then became more and more like ET as it went on.

Anyway, the first time we went to McDonald's after the film and the second time we went before. This is the third or fourth time I have been to McDonald's since I NOTICED SOMETHING. The kids noticed it, too. Quite simply, the size of the various burgers has decreased, as has the size of the drink cups. The prices, however, haven't decreased. In fact, they appear to have increased. Even before this change our portions were much smaller than the American ones (as I recall, our small doesn't exist there and our large is their medium or small or something - I think they have two sizes bigger than our maximum).

Not that I want American sizes here, it's all I can do to manage our largest, but I do wonder why Americans eat so much more than we do. It's not as if they're built any differently. Do they feel they're missing out if something isn't BIG? I remember a friend of mine going to America once and coming back saying "Oh my god, one portion in a restaurant is equivalent to what I eat in a week". She was obviously exaggerating slightly, but she wasn't far wrong. I've heard similar from other people, too.

Most restaurant portions here are way too large for me. Ideally, I would eat a child's portion, that's usually about right for me. If I went to an American restaurant I'd probably be sick at the very sight of what they would place in front of me. I suspect that even a toddler's portion would be too big.

I've never understood why restaurants don't offer smaller portions for smaller people - let's face it, there is no way a woman weighing 7 stone can eat the same size portion as a man weighing twice that size, yet there is no difference in the amounts they are given. This makes no sense to me, but I suppose it's all down to money, as they'd be expected to charge less for the smaller size. Nevertheless, if anyone ever has the common sense to start a restaurant chain like this, I think they'd make a fortune.

Just realised it's Friday the 13th today. Not that it bothers me, it's supposed to be lucky for us Scorpios. I shall live in hope of someone reaching 30 pages before midnight (don't try to work it out, you won't be able to, unless you're the person writing 'em).

Google Mood Ring (Grey): Anxious, ill at ease, strained.

I Can Only Marry You if the Weather is Right

It's been like summer here the last couple of days. I went out today in my jacket as usual and almost melted away. Sheepskin doesn't really go with blazing hot sun. Apparently, this year is going to be the hottest on record, beating the record set in 1998. I don't recall 1998 being particularly hot, the hottest year I remember is 1976, the year I got married.

I always said that I wouldn't repeat that particular event until we had another summer like that and as it didn't happen in 1998, maybe it'll happen this year instead. Actually, it's more likely to be 2008, because my last chance came in 1999, a year after the hottest summer, so it'll probably be two years after this time. Then again, it might go back a year, because there haven't been enough offers to work out the pattern yet, in which case it would be this year. Yes, I do strange things with numbers, it's probably some sort of disease. Wonder if it has a name?

Of course, it would all be totally mucked-up anyway if next year turns out to be even hotter than this year. Not to mention the fact that there may have been other 'hottest years' in between 1976 & 1998 that I don't know about, which would render the whole thing pointless and would probably mean I will never get married again at all. Then again, my chances of getting married again probably have nothing whatsoever to do with the weather, because in most cases I don't think there tends to be much of a connection.

Hot weather and me don't mix too well, as it happens. I don't like extremes of weather one way or the other, I prefer it to be warm with a nice breeze. Spring suits me just fine, especially mid-late Spring. I get all frisky and gambol about like a little lamb. Not that there is much use for my friskiness right now, but I live in hope. Spring has only just started, after all.

Apparently it's going to get colder tomorrow, so I won't go out jacketless just yet. Takes a lot to get me to strip off and weather doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it. Probably explains why I've never got married again.

Google Mood Ring (Green): Steady, stable, no emotional turmoil

Pushing the Elderly in McDonald's

My 14-year-old daughter is OK as far as 14-year-old daughters go, but she is awful when it comes to pushing herself forward. She's had since October to arrange a work placement for July and recently I received a letter from her school asking why she hadn't done so. It would have helped if she had told me about it coolly and calmly in October, rather than telling me in total panic a few days ago.

The letter I received included a website where details of available work placements could be found. My daughter said she'd tried this website at school and it was useless as it had hardly any placements on it. I went to look anyway and found so many it took about 15 minutes to read through them all. She'd already expressed an interest in social work and I found one for that, but the person dealing with it was unavailable until Monday so I tried another one in the care field. After trying that, I went back to the social work one and pushed myself forward a little on the phone, resulting in me being given another number to try.

The end result of this is that my daughter now has two work placements on offer, one working with disabled young adults in a social work setting and another working with the elderly at a nursing home. She has therefore decided to do one week at each. What she likes best about them is that both of the places she works from are situated round the corner from McDonald's.

What she likes least is the fact that when she is at the nursing home she will have to tie her hair back and remove her jewellery, including her belly piercing. She also isn't too keen on the fact that when she's on the social work placement she'll have to work from 9-5, not to mention that she will have to work on her birthday, which falls on the second day of the first work placement week.

My daughter is clearly going to go FAR once she finishes her education and has to work for a living.

Google Mood Ring (Dark Blue): Impassioned, delighted, whiff of romance

Cupboard Love

We're starting to get back to normal now. Didn't go to bed until 3.30 am last night (or rather, this morning) and got up at about 10.45, so that's far more like it.

It's Mother's Day here in the UK and my youngest son (aged 10) had hidden various things in the cupboard. When I got up he pretended that he couldn't open it and asked me to help - when I did so, there was a card and various wrapped parcels inside. My daughter's boyfiend had given him some money to get me some presents from him and his sister and I had to laugh because what he'd got me (apart from a box of Maltesers) were clearly leftovers from Valentine's Day, namely a single red rose (artificial) and a teddy-bear covered in roses, hearts, pearls and lace. It took about half-an-hour before he started begging me to open the box of Maltesers, incidentally. It is now rather less full than it was when it was opened.

I got a card from my eldest daughter, with a sarky comment on the back of the envelope, which read: "This is a card Mum, just in case you don't know what one is! You forgot last week!". The reason for this was because, despite quite a few phone calls from said daughter, I still forgot to send her a birthday card. I also forgot to send my mother a Mother's Day card, so I have absolutely no right to complain about the fact that my two eldest sons didn't remember to send me one. BUT I AM STILL GOING TO.

Google Mood Ring (Dark Blue): Impassioned, delighted, whiff of romance

Down Under in Western USA

My sleep pattern seems to be totally mucked-up now. Last night I went upstairs at 8.30, intending to have a nap. I set the alarm for 10.30 and woke about 10.40, but went back to sleep again. Next thing I knew, it was 6.45 am, so I'd almost slept the clock round. I got up at 7 o'clock and although that's normal for most people, to me it seemed as if I was getting up in the middle of the night. I mean, it was still dark! Chances are I'll be tired again by early evening, even though I've had more than enough sleep for one night.

I've noticed that my preferred sleep pattern seems best-suited to the Pacific time zone or the one before it, so maybe I should go live there. I find this somewhat perturbing insofar as people who live there are further back in time than anybody else in the world, but maybe it's because I've never wanted to grow-up. Having said that, chances are that if I did live there, I'd still stay-up way into the early hours and need to move to Australia or something. Eventually I'd probably end-up back in the UK where I started.

I mean, even my Google mood ring proves that I am just not suited to being awake at this ungodly hour! Yeah, I know it's totally random, but it does fit. Well, sort of. I'm not really feeling like that, I'm more bored than anything. Maybe I should go take a nap ...

Google Mood Ring (Amber): Nervous, on edge, uncertain

My True Love is Hairy With a Backward B (OMG)

Well, I was right. I didn't actually go to bed until 1 am. I set my alarm for 8 am, but was woken abruptly at 7.45 by my daughter, who was running up and down the stairs muttering "Oh My God, Oh My God", over and over. Turned out that her boyfriend, who was supposed to arrive here from London at 5.30 pm, had actually arrived somewhat earlier (his idea of a surprise) and she was panicking as she wasn't awake/washed/dressed/made-up. He didn't sleep on the coach down, so is now asleep upstairs on a mattress on her bedroom floor and apparently intends staying there until she gets home from school.

She should be so lucky. The love of my life is unavailable all weekend, so I have to play the gothic heroine and pine a lot. This is something I'm very good at as it happens and I can help it along nicely by playing soppy songs and pretending I'm Catherine Earnshaw. I've always been annoyed that some idiot decided to name a stupid cartoon cat after one of the most romantic heroes of all time (the most as far as I'm concerned), because it sort of takes something vital away when you cry out "Where's my Heathcliff?" to the cosmos, not to mention the risk of your true love turning out to be excessively hairy with whiskers. Wouldn't have sounded so good when Cathy screamed out "I AM Heathcliff" either, come to think of it.

It's not as if I don't have things I could be doing to occupy my time, because I most certainly do. Chances are I'll get a fair bit of time to myself, because my daughter's boyfriend is very accommodating in terms of taking my youngest off my hands, so I could take the opportunity of doing something constructive like cleaning-up (HA-HA, when I have the house to myself? As if!).

At the moment I am listening to ABBA. They are such an institution, I think keyboards should have a backward B on them somewhere so we can type the name properly. So who remembers them winning the Eurovision Song Contest? Unfortunately, I remember it all too clearly, even if it will be 33 years ago on the 6th of April. Apparently they came third the previous year with "Ring Ring", but I don't remember that.. As I recall, I watched them win at my first fiance's house and I remember him saying he thought Agnetha was "low-slung" and I had no idea what he meant.

My second fiance and ex-husband of almost two decades (I married that one) had a thing about Frida, which was a change because most men preferred Agnetha. He said Frida reminded him of me, although I never saw any resemblance. I did have a similar perm once, though. My eldest son, incidentally, is no exception to the Agnetha rule. Once when he was about 18 months old we were watching an Abba concert and he woke-up with no reason, which he normally never did. I brought him downstairs and plonked him on the fireside rug and he sat rivetted to the screen for the entire duration of the concert, then immediately made it clear he wanted taking back upstairs. He still fancies Agnetha to this day, even if she is more than old enough to be his mother - crikey, she's even older than I am. Then again, most of the women he fancies are. As for my middle son, he just fancies any woman who moves (especially if they're Greek).

Well, I started writing this ages ago, but I keep doing other things and not getting around to finishing it, which means I have long since stopped listening to Abba. So, if you want to know what Abba songs I listened to, you'll have to click on one of the songs on my list and go to my musical profile page, which listens every single song I've listened to since I started using the system. And I haven't even got around to classical yet.

Google Mood Ring (Green): Steady, stable, no emotional turmoil