Words of the Zodiac

When I wrote the previous post, the idea was to briefly mention my Zodiac Profile and then lead into my idea for a new blog. Unfortunately, I got somewhat carried away and it didn't work out that way.

I am therefore writing a new post to explain my idea for a new blog. The idea is that each day I will choose two words at random from whatever item of published material I have to hand and use them to predict the kind of day everyone is likely to have depending on their zodiac sign. Now obviously this is all very much 'tongue-in-cheek', but I've been writing weekly ones on my humour site for a while now and they've proven surprisingly accurate in many cases.

If you like the idea, especially if the forecast for your sign applies to you, please leave a comment. You can even leave a comment if you think the idea is pathetically stupid (I will cry, but I need the feedback). I also don't know what to call the blog. Words of the Zodiac? Zodiac Words? Witty Woman's Witty Words? No, not the latter, that sounds like a general blog - would have been a good title for this actually, now I come to think of it.

Anyway, please let me know what you think. Here are today's words:

Aries ... STORE - NOTHING
This is obvious enough. You will go to the store to buy something, but it won't be available so you'll leave with nothing. You're obviously not a woman then, because women never leave stores with nothing.

Taurus ... JOKES - LENGTH
Well this is typical Taurus, telling jokes that last forever but aren't actually very funny, especially as you nearly always forget the punchline or get it wrong. Try to tell shorter ones today, OK?

Gemini ... SEVENTEENTH - THIRD-FLOOR
Not sure what to make of this. Your seventeenth trip to the third floor of a building, maybe? Or visiting flat/apartment/hotel room 17 on the third floor? Or revisiting a third-floor you visited on the 17th?

Cancer ... DYING - LAURA
Not sure I should include this one really, but try to look at it positively. Maybe you are dying to get to know someone called Laura better, in which case today could be the day. If not, best forget it.

Leo ... BEDSIDE - SIZE
Strange combination. Are you thinking of buying a new bed? Maybe it's a warning to make sure there is enough room at the side of your bed to get in and out easily. You don't want to get stuck between the bed and the wall.

Virgo ... HUNGER - TIMING
Clearly you have to make sure you eat at regular times today, or maybe time your appointments so they don't clash with mealtimes. Or maybe something will run late and cause you to miss a meal.

Libra ... ARMS - BRANCHES
Well, these two sort of go together, don't they. Today you have to make like a tree and entwine your arms around someone. Shouldn't be difficult, Librans will entwine around anybody who smiles at them.

Scorpio ... OVER - FIFTEEN
Maybe something will finish at 3 pm (1500 hours) - well, school here does for a start, except it isn't a schoolday today. Just make a note of what happens at 3 pm, because it probably won't ever happen again.

Sagittarius ... CARRIES - PARANOIA
Maybe this means exactly what it says, that all Sagittarians carry paranoia around with them and today will be no exception. Does that sound as if I am getting at you? There you are then, you're paranoid.

Capricorn ... BECAUSE - UMBRELLA
You will get wet today because you forgot your umbrella. You can actually stop this prediction coming true with one simple act - take your umbrella.

Aquarius ... TEN - RODE
You will be going somewhere for a ride today and there will be nine other people with you, making a total of ten going along for the ride. That's it, really, although you might like to dwell happily on what you may be riding in or on.

Pisces ... SITUATION - WERE
Were is a funny word really, but it sort of suggests the past, so it looks as if you will be in a situation you have been in before. This isn't unusual, Pisceans are always swimming backwards and forwards.

Words taken from: LIGHTNING by Dean R. Koontz

Astrologically Knitting Chocolate Music

I did this zodiac quiz the other day and it gave me a Gemini personality, like so:

Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

Now, this is quite interesting because I'm actually a Scorpio (very much so) with Virgo rising and a large clump of planets in Libra. For those to whom it makes sense, I have all my planets in one half of my chart (houses 1-6) and an unaspected Sun. To those who can make no sense of this, read on ...

The fact that I came out as a "Gemini personality" is interesting insofar as Gemini is on my Midheaven, which basically means I am most suited to careers associated with that sign, which in its very basic sense means I should follow a career which involves using words. Well, I have no argument with that.

I also have to admit that the description of me is spot-on, especially the last bit. I never finish anything. I have a box upstairs full of things I started knitting, mainly for my eldest daughter when she was little. She's 24 now. Even my youngest daughter (half her age) would be too old for them if I suddenly thought "I want to KNIT!" and finished them. One thing the above description failed to mention was "You never throw anything away". It also failed to mention that sometimes I do strange things that don't fit in with my Eccentric Bohemian Hermit personality at all, such as making clothing items with needles and balls of wool.

I have to admit that I've never really got on with Gemini people. This isn't surprising though, as the majority of Water signs find Air Signs too shallow. This isn't meant to be insulting, it's simply that Water signs are very deep and Air signs aren't, they're far more wysiwyg. Water signs could never be described as wysiwyg. My mother is an Air sign (Aquarius) and we've always clashed, because she simply can't see beyond the surface of anything. It's either black or it's white, there are never any grey areas. My life consists of nothing but grey areas.

I have two sons who are Air signs, too. They were both meant to be Scorpios but they were born too soon (my eldest only had to be a few days late but no, he had to be a typical Libran and arrive on the exact day he was due) and they are just the same - it either is or it isn't, there is no room for manouevre. At least my other three came out right - two Cancerians (both born on the same day, ten years apart) and a Pisces.

For those of you who know who I am talking about, my natal chart (horoscope to those not in the know) is more or less exactly the same as that of the Scottish singer Lulu. We were born on the same day (a few years apart) and our Ascendants are almost exactly the same. All our planets are in the same places, too, apart from one - Jupiter. Lulu has this smack-bang in her first house, giving her opportunity by the bucketload, whereas mine is somewhere where it doesn't do me any good at all (I forget where). I could easily have met Lulu, too (although I didn't), because my mother used to work with her auntie, although she never called her Lulu, she called her "Our Marie".

And yes, I can sing - very well, as it happens. I was once mistaken for Kate Bush and offered the chance to make a demo disc, but I turned it down. I'm far too introverted to stand on a stage and open my mouth - ugh, the thought makes me want to be sick. Unless something has gone wrong somewhere astrologically-speaking, poor Lulu must have consumed thousands of anti-panic tablets in her career. I feel for her, she's my astrological sister.

My youngest daughter can also sing. She's been given the lead several times in her school Christmas concerts and she's been writing her own songs (music and lyrics)since she was knee-high to the proverbial grasshopper. They're incredibly mature too (usually about lost love, except she's never had a love to lose yet, she's only twelve). Her voice is sort of turning operatic, which is a great shame because I can't afford to send her for training. The amount these voice coaches charge is unbelievable, we wouldn't be able to eat for a week. My middle son can also sing, he was in the Welsh Eisteddfod several years in a row singing solo and my youngest son is also quite the little warbler.

Talking of my youngest son, at the moment he is in Birmingham at the Cadbury's chocolate factory. I have no doubt that he will come home covered from head to foot in gooey brown stuff, which will be inconvenient to say the least as my washing machine isn't working. This is because whenever I have used it recently it has been leaking from the pipe at the back and now it won't come on when I switch it on. My cooker won't work either, but luckily I have a combination microwave/oven so I use that.

Here endeth today's lesson on "How to go from astrology to broken domestic appliances via knitting, middle-aged popstars, singing and chocolate in one easy blog posting", otherwise known as "How to prattle on about a load of absolute rubbish because you've got nothing better to do and you really love annoying people".