God is an Adolescent Virgin with Acne

It's been a while since I played The Sims, so tonight I thought I'd go check on my creations and see how they were doing. While it was loading (and loading, and loading ...), I went to the toilet, made a coffee, tidied the lounge ... it seemed to be taking far longer than usual, then WHOOSH! back I went to my desktop. It really annoys me when it does this. There's no reason for it, because sometimes it will work quite happily for several hours on the trot.

I hope The Sims 2 is better at loading than the original. I was actually envying the Americans this week, because they already have it and last I heard we had to wait until the 10th of October. Then I found out today that it is out here TOMORROW (actually TODAY, because we're already into Thursday, which means it was yesterday I found out, not today ... still with me?), which is rather annoying as I need to get a new PC before I can play it and I'll have to get that set-up and sorted first.

I've found a few cheap copies on eBay already, including one which is priced so low (£15 to be precise, the rrp being £39.99) there has to be a catch in it. And no, it isn't an auction, it's Buy it Now. There were four of them originally, now there's only one left and I am sorely tempted, but I'm not going to take the risk. I checked the feedback and it seems this person has sent out pirate copies of things before now, or DVD games advertised as being for the PC.

I went to the official Sims 2 site earlier and even though the game has only been out for a couple of days from what I can gather, there are custom-made houses and even families with histories already uploaded by people who've bought it. They must have been playing solidly for the last 48 hours without a break!

I also found myself at a site that gave away the money cheats (already) but I closed the window. I regretted discovering those the first time around. My Sims can damn well work for their money like everybody else has to. Well, I might have just one rich family, so everyone else can suffer from mad bouts of jealousy. One thing's for sure, it certainly won't be the Newbies. I think this time I'll kill them off fairly early on and let them be my first ghosts. I understand the ghosts will be more fun in this one, so I think Bob and Betty would be ideally suited to the role.

Playing a computer game for hours on end may seem a very strange way for a menopausal middle-aged woman to pass the time, but I'm not just any menopausal middle-aged woman, I'm a menopausal middle-aged SCORPIO woman. Anyone into astrology will understand exactly what I mean by that. It's the 'playing God' aspect of it really. I can create a life, control it, and even dispose of it if I so desire.

Even before I realised that The Sims was known as a 'God game', or even that there was such a thing, I hadn't failed to see the correlation. I was playing one day and suddenly had this impression of some geek up in the clouds with a computer, looking down at me and laughing maniacally as he clicked away with his mouse. In fact, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I see him as being a virgin of about 15, riddled with acne and almost insane with teenage angst.

Not everybody's idea of 'God' I don't suppose, but it certainly makes more sense to me than any other version. Just don't ask me to worship him.

Twittering About the Tarot

I started a new blog yesterday, which I have called Tarot Diary (click to visit). The idea is that each evening before I go to bed (or each early morning in my case) I will choose a tarot card at random and discuss various meanings for it in the diary. At the end of the following day (same day in my case) I will report back as to whether or not any of the meanings fit what has taken place.

I'll probably discuss other aspects of the tarot as well, so if you're interested in it, pop along and have a look! You can even earn yourself a free reading if you link to one of my sites (four to choose from!). Now how's that for generous???

Overnight Facelift

It's getting on for 11 am but I'm not fully awake yet. All this getting-up at the crack of dawn to take my son to school is doing my head in. He was an hour late getting there today and even then I felt like I was going out in the middle of the night.

Of course, it didn't help that I was up most of the night trying to sort out this blog. I just couldn't stand looking at that ghastly Blogger template any longer, so I went on a hunt for a new one. I found a few that I liked, but they always had something that either didn't work properly or wasn't quite right. I finally found one I did like, but it had those ghastly frames and there is no way I want those. I don't stay long on sites with frames.

Anyway, I like to see one large expanse of type, it works better for speed-readers and as far as I'm concerned it looks better. Apart from anything else, I need as much writing space as I can get, not a silly little window that you have to scroll down every ten seconds. It would probably be easier if I used the scroll ball thing on my mouse, but I never remember, I'm too used to doing it the old-fashioned way with the slider bars (much to my young son's annoyance, he's forever telling me to use the ball thing). Talking of slider bars, mine are still not showing coloured in the published version, but they are on the preview. I don't understand that at all.

There was one template I found which was really good, it had some quotation on it about "The Crazy Ones" which apparently is used in an Apple Mac advert and it did seem to describe me very well. Only trouble is, instead of it having a picture of Amelia Earhart (who I always confuse with Amy Johnson, so it could have been her instead, but I think it was Amelia), it had an empty input window which forced one of those damn QuickTime pop-up windows in my face everytime I loaded my blog. I was able to get rid of it, but then I couldn't get the rest of it to look right.

In the end I decided it was easier to create my own, so that's what I did. I kept what little of the old Blogger one I wanted, which was basically just a few links, and did the rest from scratch. I'm actually quite pleased with the end result, I think it looks rather fetching and certainly better than the old one. I might decide to change the little coloured boxes to text links and host the puritan thing on my own site to get rid of all the colour, or maybe it's OK to leave it in. Be interesting to see if anyone lets me know!

Yesterday I took my son down the road to play with one of the girls in his class. They have a puppy and a kitten who match - a sable-coloured Weimaraner and a similar coloured tabby or something. Anyway, I was trying not to laugh because the dog was called Dylan, which not only sounds a strange name for a dog (especially a Weimeraner), but is also my grandson's name. I didn't find out what the kitten is called, not sure I want to know really in case it turns out to be Caitlin.

Anyone Want to Buy My Genitals?

Here is a quiz result that describes me as "Pure as a Puritan". I noticed these quiz results on a few blogs so thought I'd pop along because I adore quizzes, but most of them just didn't apply to me at all. This is because they seemed to be aimed at an audience somewhat younger than myself.

As you can see, it says on this quiz result that I probably haven't been kissed or even held hands. Well, I'm not saying it isn't possible to have five children with three different fathers without kissing or holding hands, but it isn't true in my case.

And yes, I am most certainly over thirty, but I have no intention of killing myself or selling my genitals. As far as the latter is concerned, I doubt anyone would want to buy them anyway. I certainly wouldn't, I have no use for them right now (although once I am past 'a certain age' I will probably revert to my previous state of 'living in hope').

The aim of this quiz was to discover how much of a slut I am. Five children to three different fathers (only one of whom I was actually married to) sounds like I should have a very high score indeed, which just goes to prove that nothing is as it seems. I even managed to have five children to three different fathers without being a Burtons Girl!

For some much better quizzes, CLICK HERE. In one of these, I was a TOILET, which really is incredibly accurate, as you will see if you read this.

By the way, has anyone other than me noticed that SLUT is an anagram of LUST

Goolies and Ghoulies

Amazingly, I have found a blog written by someone called Christine who just happens to be an ex-Goolie like myself. For those of you who don't know, an ex-Goolie is someone who originated in the town of Goole. It's now located in East Yorkshire, but it's also been in North Humberside and the West Riding. The town is clearly as confused about its identity as those living in it or in any way associated with it (which, of course, includes me).

I wasn't just pleased about finding this ex-Goolie's site because she's an ex-Goolie (an ex-Goolie, incidentally, who reminds me very much of my Auntie Audrey - who, strangely enough, has a daughter called Christine), but also because, although we were at the same school at the same time, I started three years after she did which means (wait for it) ... SHE'S OLDER THAN ME. You can't imagine how musical that is to the ears of a woman of 'a certain age' like myself. It probably sounds somewhat discordant to poor Christine, but maybe she will be lucky and find the blog of an ex-Goolie who is three years older than her. I do hope so, because even after such a short acquaintance, I already think of Christine as my Goolish Blogging Sister.

There's a very funny website all about Goole called Goole-on-the-Web (oddly enough). It's been there for years and never seems to alter very much (rather like Goole really), but I'm sure someone must be updating it or it wouldn't still be there (not sure that applies to Goole, though). The site is probably only funny to those who know Goole, although I sent an American friend of mine there once and he thought it was funny, too. Then again, he's not a typical American because he understands sarcasm and irony (sort of). He can even use it sometimes and that is no mean feat.

I'm not going to say anything about the town of Goole or its inhabitants, because those who know the place will know all there is to know and those who don't know the place just wouldn't understand. Suffice it to say, the fact that "goolies" and "ghoulies" sound exactly the same means a great deal.

As I said, it's amazing that after only a few days of checking-out blogs I come across one from a fellow ex-Goolie. All other fellow ex-Goolies will understand just how amazing this. There can't be many of us about. In fact, it's quite possible that Christine and I are the only ones. Now, there's a ghoulish thought.

STOP PRESS!!!
It appears Christine and I are not the only blogging ex-Goolies. We are not a duo after all, we are a trio!!! There is another one by the name of Gavin Bryars. The name sounds vaguely familiar, but I am probably thinking of a friend of my mother's with the same surname. As for Christine's comment on this entry with regard to the "Burtons Girls", I have to say that my Auntie Kathleen used to work at Burton's. She definitely wasn't a "Burtons Girl", but she had to call herself "Kath" in order to appear to be one, otherwise she may have been rumbled.

Momentary Flashes on the Pan

I would like to thank Blog Bloke for letting me know how to reduce the number of entries that appear on my page. I have now been able to remove some of them and the page is much easier on the eye now, I think.

Now all I need to do is work out why my coloured slider bars are visible on the preview page but not on the published page and why the top line of every post is right-justified on the preview page but not on the published page. And I will find out, because I'm nothing if not stubborn.

Talking of Blog Bloke, yesterday I was reading one of his postings, Momentary Flash of Brilliance, where he talks about inspiration striking in awkward places, such as when you're on the toilet.

This happens to me all the time and I have to admit that most of my best ideas come to me when I am performing my ablutions. This is understandable though, as I do seem to have more ablutions to perform than the average person. So much so, that I was once crowned "Toilet Queen" after a vote between fellow members of my cribbage league.

Having lost several good ideas through forgetting them by the time I've finished abluting (I don't think that word exists, but I like the sound of it), I have taken to leaving pen and paper within easy reach of the toilet so I can use them if inspiration strikes at an awkward moment, but they always disappear before I have chance to use them.

It doesn't take much imagination to work out what visitors to my toilet might be doing with the paper, but I don't like to dwell too long on what they might be doing with the pens.