Don't Rip Your EMO, Chuck

There's this ad keeps appearing in my Google AdSense thingy, asking me if I'm EMO and, if so, do I want to meet other people who are EMO so I can hang out with them, upload pics and blog about whatever. Well, apart from the fact that I have no desire to hang out with anybody (does the word "hermit" not mean anything?), I have absolutely no idea whether or not I am EMO because I don't know what EMO is. At least, I didn't earlier today. Now I think I might know, but I'm still not entirely sure.

As part of my investigation, I clicked on the link, but it was no help whatsoever, it simply took me to a sign-up page, although the site appears to be Australian so I thought maybe EMOS were a variation of emus. I then entered EMO in Google and it appears to be short for emotional ... well, I can certainly admit to that. However, on further investigation it appears to be emotional music, only not the sort of music I would class as emotional.

However, I quite like this description: "Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17-year-olds who don't smile, high-pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite band's signature, black square-rimmed glasses and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle."

Now, were I still 17, I would probably be quite enamoured with a male person fitting this description, on account of how I was somewhat strange at that time when it came to what I did and didn't find attractive (I still am, but I've advanced somewhat in my age preference). However, as I am most definitely not 17 (and unable to pass for 17 even with the most amazing light system ever invented), I would probably find it rather perturbing. I therefore feel that this advertisement has no place on my blog and I will be considering visiting AdSense to ban it. I don't even want to attract 17-year-olds to it because they might leave messages telling me I'm old.

Although I think I now know what EMO is, I have absolutely no idea what ripped chucks are. I thought maybe they were jeans, but the description already mentioned those, so they must be something else. If anyone knows what they are, please tell me. If you know what unripped chucks are, tell me that instead, because I can probably work it out from there.